Author’s Note: This article has been reprinted in several newspapers and has been reposted numerous time on the net since it was released in 2002 by a supporter of mine who know about the press. You can see the original press release at: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2002/05/prweb38523.htm
I love you,
I love you more than life,
I would give my life for you my daughter…..
But I am too selfish to quit,
I know it hurts you physically and emotionally but I am too addicted to even consider quitting,
My daughter believe me I love you even when I smoke in the car next to you and later hand you your asthma puffer,
My daughter believe me that I love you even if my selfish addition causes me to leave your hospital bedside when you have a respiratory infection I contributed to…just to love my addiction more than you,
My daughter I love you but I cannot consider leaving my addiction even when you beg me to stop because it irritates your eyes and causes you ear infections…I can only think of me at those times,
My daughter I love you and I am so sorry I let you die alone calling for me, when I was adoring the poison that killed you, it was just 5 minutes away from you surely you understand; it called me more than your need for me, but I let you die alone after I took your life away with my poison, my poison let you die alone…and as I used it to calm my nerves as I watched you far from you through the open door of the mortuary because I need it more than I need to feel close to you before they buried you…
My husband I love you but I cannot put your wishes and needs before my addiction, I cannot listen when you beg me to stop for our daughter and for me and you,
My husband I love you and want to be there for you and our daughter but you know I need to smoke to keep my weight down-its a great excuse,
My husband I love you, but all of my friends smoke and I need to fit in, can’t you think of my needs for once when you ask me to quit after our daughters gets her bad asthmas attacks?
My husband I love you but you know I cannot stop because I need my addiction to make my life complete,
I know you love me but stop being selfish and think of me, I need to have a little pleasure in life, I don’t complain when you snore all night long, please do not give me guilt trips when you and our daughters get a cold more often than others,
My husband I would give my life for you so please do not tell me that my skin is aging fast, my voice is like that of an old lady, and my breathe smells like an ashtray, I love you but not even my love is stronger than my need for my fix…..
My daughter I love you and wanted you to live a long healthy life, but even when faced with your cancer, and knowing I contributed to it, I still leave your bedside to go to my addiction for comfort….
My husband, my sickly daughter, I love you both more than life itself, even when I literarily help take the life out of you and me!